Why do I think I can help you?
My life has been full of change, some that I have embraced and some that I have tried really hard to avoid.
I get bored easily and so tend to embrace most change. From needing to play around with the furniture in my rooms just to give me a different space or aspect (which I do constantly) to my numerous career moves in order to stave off the boredom or wanting to move up the ladder. I have been made redundant 5 times through my life and this has been change that I have not necessarily wanted but been forced to accept.
Marriage and divorce are two other really significant changes that I have been through. It was a great idea to get married for a while, but we change as people and end up wanting different things or we dont change as people and this ends up causing conflict and then separation and the inevitable and expensive divorce!
Navigating change is never easy especially the significant changes and some may lead to a deep sense of loss and bewilderment and not knowing how to get to the next stage. Picking yourself up after significant change can be tricky.
I have learned over the years that change is a mindset helps enormously and how we deal with it depends on how great the challenge, how much time and resource we have to manage it and if we have experienced something similar before.
If we think about a change of job, many people will go through their life moving jobs a few times at least, therefore each time it happens, we can draw upon how we managed the previous time it happened and we can plan for it. It can be broken down into manageable steps:
Updating CV
The job search
Application process
Interview Process
if successful, offer and acceptance
Resignation process
New job preparation
Each element is broken down and completed gradually which makes it a manageable change.
So on this basis, If we can apply this approach to other change in our lives then we should we be able to manage change better for ourselves?
Although breaking a big task down into manageable steps helpful, in many situations, there is much more to think about and this is where our values come in.
I had a time in my life a few years ago where I found I was not considering my values, like freedom, adventure and life balance. I was living a long way away from most of my friends and family and I felt like I was spending pretty much every weekend traveling to see them and having no time for myself. I was living close to my job but far away from everyone I needed to be nearer to and was feeling exhausted.
I decided it was time to change so I decided to move closer to friends and family and look for a new job closer to home as my commute albeit only once a week was around 5 hours.
So I moved house first and kept an eye on the job market and gradually everything fell into place and I got my freedom back and ultimately more balance in my life and I still get to see the people that I want to spend time with.
There were other options I could have taken, like spend less time with friends and family and less time travelling but then my values around friendship, family and love would have been compromised and that would not have made me happy.
Everyone experiences change in their life and I am no exception, the one I am probably most looking forward to is retirement but that is a few years away yet. It is inevitable, but what does it mean for me? what am I going to do? how am I going to plan for it? - not only in a financial sense. I hope to have a few years to plan for that one but I want to make sure I get it right and that I am happy and that whatever I do in retirement will align with my values..
When change is forced upon us or when we decide to make a change, breaking it down into manageable stages, considering how the change impacts our values and looking at what is important to us will ensure that we make the right decision for us.